The reason I became such a huge advocate for this cause was because I finally wanted to tell my story and educate the public. For a disease that's nearly 100% preventable, women are still dying of cervical cancer. That alone makes me angry. I came face-to-face with death and even to this day, it sometimes haunts me in my dreams. I am making it my mission in life to help heal this world and help eradicate this devastating disease.
Working in the non-profit field, you have to have a thick skin. People are going to slam their doors in your face, reject you and make snide comments, but you have to brush it all off and not take any of it personally. "It's not you, it's them" is something I tell myself every time I feel defeated. One big lesson I've learned through my advocating experience is that you can't force people to support a cause. They have to want to care on their own, and usually, the only way that happens is if it affects them personally or someone close to them. It's sad, but true. Case in point, my best friend probably would not have become such a strong advocate for cervical cancer had I never been diagnosed.
I get a bag full of mixed reactions when I tell people I am a cervical cancer survivor. Most people say the usually, "that's great!" but I have also heard, "You're such a slut!" I have to force myself not to break down and cry during those painful moments. I don't ever use my battle with cancer as a crutch, I use it as motivation to keep doing what I'm doing - raising awareness.
Most guys I try to talk to about cervical cancer or HPV don't show much interest. And even after telling them that they are carriers of HPV, it doesn't seem to change anything.
Today, my ex-boyfriend from college, whom I haven't really talked to in months, sent me a message on g-chat. I had posted the url of this press release that I am mentioned in, into my status bar and he obviously clicked on it, read the article and saw that what I was doing.
"You're speaking about cervical cancer?" he asked me.
"Yes." I replied.
"That reminds me, I need to schedule my pap smear," he said jokingly.
It was like a button went off and I instantly became angry. He was laughing about something that hits me personally and I couldn't help but get mad. He asked me why I got into speaking about cervical cancer and I sent him the link to Run 2 Inspire's website.
"Nice," was all he said.
Considering I never told him I had cancer, I expected a much different reaction. So I poked a little and said:
"You're probably the reason why I had cancer!"
"You had cancer?!" he asked.
"Clearly you didn't look at the website," I replied.
"No, I just looked at the top." he said.
I felt even angrier. He was completely ignorant of all of this. He has the nerve to ask me why I got into advocating for cervical cancer and when I give him an explanation, he doesn't make the effort to read.
Instead of adding more fuel to the fire, I closed my g-chat with him and took a deep breath. I felt defeated, but I wasn't going to let it get to me. "It's not worth it; HE'S not worth it." I said to myself. Him and I don't have the best friendship - actually, I wouldn't even call it a friendship. I spent two years after we broke up angry at him. I wasn't going to let all of those feelings come back again.
I'll never understand why certain people are so ignorant. Whenever someone sends me something, I take the time to read it, look at it, understand it. I'm finding that most people aren't like that. Most people are self-absorbed. The only way they will truly care about cancer is if and when it affects them personally.
I'm not going to let this tiny road block divert my focus to my mission. I'm going to continue raising awareness for cervical cancer because I'm a survivor. I'm going to continue to save women's lives from this devastating disease because I believe in the cause, the story, my volunteers and myself.
"Give advice; if people don't listen, let adversity teach them."
- Ethiopian Proverb -
