Nothing's Fair About Cervical Cancer

Every 47 minutes a woman is diagnosed with cervical cancer.

GlaxoSmithKline (GSK) aired a new commercial on Sunday, during the Oscars, to increase awareness for cervical cancer.  Cervical cancer is serious, but it is also nearly 100 percent preventable.  This is just one (of many) reasons why women (and men) need to educate themselves on the importance of Pap smears and vaccinations.

Nothing's fair about cervical cancer.  Women are losing their fertility because of cervical cancer; hell, women are dying because of this preventable disease. We need more education and awareness and we need it NOW.  

I didn't want this

"Nobody in life gets exactly what they thought they were going to get. But if you work really hard and you're kind, amazing things will happen."

 - Conan O'Brien -

 I didn't want this.  No one wants to get cancer.  All I wanted was to live a happy and health life.  I'm 26 years old and my life is no longer considered 'healthy.'  When I was going through my radiation and chemotherapy treatments, I didn't really look sick, but for a short period of that time, I was fighting death.  

If there is one thing I have learned from battling cancer it's that you have to play the cards you are dealt.  You have to fight to breathe the next day; you have to fight to survive the radiation treatments; you have to fight to live till tomorrow.  

I'm not happy about the battles I've had to fight in my 26 years.  In fact, thinking of everything that I have overcome makes me break down in tears.  I've lost my parents, my health, my strength and I'm on the verge of losing the ability to bear children.  But I fight because I know that if I can survive cancer, I can survive anything else that comes my way.

Coming out of my 'cancer closet' was probably the most emotionally draining thing I have ever had to do.  I had to admit to my friends, my family, everyone else out there that I had cancer.  But that wasn't the embarrassing part; the embarrassing part was admitting to everyone that I had cervical cancer.  The embarrassing part was being seen as "that girl" who was promiscuous.  The truth is, I'm not promiscuous; I don't sleep around just to get my kicks.  Cervical cancer has actually stolen most of my sex drive anyway.  

Working in the nonprofit field is tough.  Working with your own nonprofit is even tougher.  Money is tight, the economy is suffering, and people aren't giving generous donations.  It's emotionally draining and most days I want to quit, but I continue to fight because I realize that if I can survive cervical cancer, I can survive this.  But it's tough to survive this when other people are only in it for themselves.  

I want to believe that there are genuine people still left in this world, but lately I've come across those who are just self absorbed.  I don't get it. We're all fighting our own battles, why is it so hard to show more love and support?

Still, I continue to fight.  I can't force people to care about my cause.  I can't force people to donate money.  I can't force people to attend my events.  All I can do is continue to raise awareness for HPV and cervical cancer and help educate others.  All I can do is work to save another woman's life from this preventable disease. 

I just hope someone out there is listening.

A letter to my younger self

** I attended a briefing in Washington, D.C. on January 27th to lobby for increased funding for cervical cancer treatments.  During the briefing, one of the speakers asked, "Knowing what you know now [about HPV and cervical cancer], what would you tell yourself before you got diagnosed?"  After hearing that question, I really thought about it, and realized this would make good blog fodder.  So, this is a letter to my 23-year-old-self, the age I was diagnosed with cervical cancer. **

Dear 23-year-old me,

I know life isn't going to turn out the way you hoped, and people are going to come and go, but if there's one piece of advice I could give you, it's that you need to always love yourself.  Stop trying to get the perfect body image and stop trying to pretend you're someone you're not.  There's no such thing as perfection.  Everyone has their flaws, and sometimes it's your flaws that make you beautiful.

Learn something new every day.  Knowledge is power and you can never learn too much of anything.  Stop walking around thinking you know everything and stop thinking certain things won't happen to you.  Anything can happen to you.  After losing your parents so early in life, you should already know that by now.  

Be healthy.  This doesn't mean don't eat crappy food and don't gain weight (although, you really shouldn't eat crappy food), this means love yourself.  Women are more prone to certain health risks, viruses and diseases than men are.  Stop thinking you won't catch something because you very well CAN catch something.  Cervical cancer is one of the most preventable cancers out there.  Just because you didn't learn something in high school health class, doesn't mean it's not important.  HPV is the most common sexually transmitted disease in the U.S., and you need to be careful.  Remember how in college you said that condoms were overrated?  Yeah, not so much.  Use them.  Men are the carriers of nearly every STD and you don't know who they have been sexually active with. 

Love those around you.  Certain people are going to come into your life and quickly go.  You're going to spend several years questioning the true meaning of friendship.  You are going to lose some close friends and gain some new ones.  Among all things, always love those around you.  Don't hold grudges and stop pushing people away.  The friends who leave you?  Well, that's their problem, not yours.  Always cherish those few friends who continue to stand by your side because you are about to embark on a tough, painful journey and you need all the love and support you can find. 

Be true to yourself.  I know you have a tendency (more often than not) to be hard on yourself, especially when certain things don't always pan out the way you had hoped, but that doesn't mean you've failed.  If anything, it's made you stronger, more resilient. Forget all of those people who continue to pity and judge you.  Those who judge others, judge themselves.  Success doesn't happen over night; continue to work and your dreams really will come true. 

But most importantly, be happy.  Life is going to throw you several curve balls.  What's important is how you react to those curve balls.  It's important to stay grounded and focused.  You've already endured so much in life - you're going to come out on top.  Stop caring about what other people think of you and start worrying about what you think of yourself.  Always love yourself because you truly are beautiful - even in your darkest, sickest moments. 

Loving you always,

Older me

If you don't stand for something, you'll fall for anything.

On Saturday, January 16th, the Philadelphia Chapter held our '12 Pubs of Christmas' bar crawl.  Approximately 30 people came out to participate and we raised over $850.

But this wasn't your typical bar crawl.  We implemented a 'pub crawl challenge' and participants had to complete all of these crazy challenges like:  sing the 'Fresh Prince of Bel-Air' theme song (which was funny) and drink a beer with a straw (which was even funnier).  We also included challenges like: name the two types of HPV that cause cervical cancer.  You'll be amazed at the number of people who didn't know this answer.  Another challenge was: Name three facts about HPV or cervical cancer.  Again, not very many people knew.

January is National Cervical Health Awareness Month and while I am using this month to celebrate my fight with cervical cancer, I'm also using this month to raise awareness and educate those who don't know much (if anything) about HPV or cervical cancer.

At one of the bars this weekend, one kid said to me: When I saw this was to raise awareness for HPV, I thought it was a typo for HIV.  I didn't know HPV existed. 

That right there is WHY I do what I do.  That right there is why we need more awareness and education on this.  Sure, I was one of those people who didn't really know much about HPV, but after educating myself on it, I now know and understand that cervical cancer is nearly 100% preventable if it is detected and caught early.

Early detection and prevention saves lives.  Women need to know that it's OK to talk about the cancers below the waist; men need to know that they are the carriers of HPV. 

Take a stand.  Make a change.  Together, we can eradicate cervical cancer. 

"If you don't stand for something, you'll fall for anything."

Cervical Health Awareness Month - January

January is Cervical Health Awareness Month. Most people don't know that cervical cancer is the most preventable and treatable cancer in women if caught early. For this month, Run 2 Inspire will be showing our support by creating several campaigns leading up to the Purple Pin-Up Party on January 23, 2010.

1.) Cuts for a Cause

We first have "Cuts for a Cause"campaign; this is a campaign where we will be going to local beauty salons in Pittsburgh asking each stylist to donate $1 per hair cut each day for the month of January. They will receive a poster to hang up in their salon from the NCCC to show their support and awareness about cervical cancer and HPV. Proceeds from this campaign will go to Magee-Womens Research Institute & Foundation.

2.) "12 Pubs of Christmas" Pub Crawl - Rescheduled

Due to bad weather conditions last month, our "12 Pubs of Christmas" Pub Crawl in Pittsburgh & Philadelphia has been rescheduled for January 9th in Pittsburgh & January 16th in Philadelphia. Each crawl will have challenges and crawlers will receive t-shirts & wristbands. Prizes for the winners and great food & drink specials throughout the crawl. Thanks to all the local bars in both cities for donating their bar, drink specials and more to our organization.

3.) FREE PAP SMEARS

Another campaign we will be doing is a FREE PAP SMEAR. Our Philadelphia team will be going to a local Philadelphia OB GYN office(s) to offer Free Pap Smear test for local women. It's vital for women who have never had a pap examination to make an appointment with their doctor. PREVENTION AND EARLY DETECTION SAVES LIVES.

4.) 2nd Bi-Annual Purple Pin-Up Party

This is our signature event. This party was the beginning of Run 2 Inspire. It is a benefit to raise awareness about HPV & cervical cancer. The proceeds from this event will go to Magee-Womens. It is a fun and excited night filled with music, dancing, auctions, vendors, great food and drinks, along with an informative guest speaker. The party is our way of giving back but also having a good time in the process.

With all of our campaigns and events taking place this month, I feel like we are making a great start to a year of awareness and support. My team did such an amazing job last year that I don't doubt that they won't put the same effort into making this year just as amazing.

My goals for starting this organization was to raise awareness and be able to give the facts and information about HPV & cervical cancer to at least one person who had no idea what this disease can do to someone. I also wanted to get my best friend to put a face and voice to her story. Last, I wanted to give back to women like Katy, because everyone needs a shoulder to lean on, and everyone needs the support system. I want R2I be that support system to women who don't have one.

My new year's resolution is raise more awareness, get better educated, and be the support system that someone needs. What's your resolution?

a tribute to my best friend

It all began one spring day in Junior High at track & field practice. I was in 8th grade and she was in 7th. We both ran the hurdles, and since our hurdle team was small, it was almost like we were forced to talk to each other. We saw each other every day after school for about four months, so it was almost guaranteed that we would be friends. As the days went by, we talked to each other more and more about typical teenage things - boys, boys and more boys.

By the time we both got to high school, we had formed a close friendship with each other. We always looked forward to track and field season because we got to spend four months with each other. By my Senior year, she had become my best friend. We shared memories on the track (like how we gave each other nicknames) as well as off the track (like hanging out on Pitt's campus). It was a friendship unlike any other. We laughed (at each other and with each other), we cried (over boys - although moreso her than me), and we spent whatever free time we had hanging out at the mall, going out to eat or to the movies. When it was time for me to graduate high school, I was sad to leave her behind. Even though I went to a local University, I knew it wasn't going to be the same. And in the back of my head, I wondered how it would affect our friendship.

Our college years was the first test of our friendship. Even though we both went to local schools in Pittsburgh, we didn't see each other every day and when Springtime came around, we didn't have track practice to fall back on anymore. Our lives started growing apart, even though we remained close, and I was scared to lose her.

In June of 2003, my life turned upside down. I was in an unhealthy relationship that was tearing me apart and my mother had passed away. After I got back from the hospital, the first phone call I made was to her. It was early in the morning and I couldn't even compose my thoughts; all I could muster out was: "My mom just died." She cried, which made me cry even harder. She was at my house within 20 minutes and I felt so relieved to have my best friend with me. That's when I knew our friendship would last forever. She put her life on hold so she could help me through my own. That's what true friendship is all about.

Three years later, Summer of 2006, our friendship would be put to the test again. I accepted a job with the Philadelphia District Attorney's office in May. I packed up my things and moved 300 miles away from home. I wasn't sure how me moving across the state was going to affect our friendship, but I knew that it wouldn't be the same. I was ready to embark on another adventure. I felt guilty leaving her behind, but I knew that I had to do this for myself.

In October of 2006, my life turned upside down again.  After getting a routine Pap smear done, my gynecologist called me several hours later to tell me I had Stage 2A advanced cervical cancer.  Before I could even process any of that, I picked up my phone and called the one person I needed more than anyone.  After four rings, she picked up.  In tears and panicking, all I could muster was: "I have cervical cancer."  She cried, which made me cry harder.  Even though she couldn't physically be with me, it was relieving to know she was there for me, and that she would continue to be there for me during my battle with this.

After learning everything I could about HPV and cervical cancer, I felt so ashamed.  HPV is a sexually transmitted disease.  Somehow I had caught an STD.  Who gave this to me?!  Was all I could think about.  I felt angry and frustrated because I didn't know how I had contracted this.  Also, because I didn't know that HPV can lead to cervical cancer if gone untreated or undetected.  But I blame my high school's education system for that one.


For nearly the entire duration of my battle with cervical cancer, I kept my mouth shut about it.  I was mortified.  People look at you differently when you tell them you have cancer.  They pity you and some even start to feel bad for you.  I didn't want to be known as "that girl" who contracted an STD.  People think of women who have HPV or cervical cancer as being promiscuous.  Fortunately, that's not true.  HPV is a skin-on-skin contact disease, so it doesn't matter if you've had one partner or 30 partners - you're still at risk for catching it.  All it takes is one guy, one girl, one time.


So, I hid in the "cancer closet," so to say.  I didn't tell anyone (aside from my best friend and family) that I had cervical cancer.  It was bad enough I felt ashamed of myself, I didn't want the pity party from everyone else, too. 


A year after my diagnosis, my best friend told me about an idea she had.  She wanted to put together a benefit to raise money for cervical cancer research.  It sounded like a great idea, but I knew in my heart that I didn't want to be exposed to that.  I wasn't ready for people to know just yet.


I attended the benefit and it was remarkable.  About 100 people attended and approximately $900 was raised and donated to Magee-Womens Research Institute to support their gynecological cancer research efforts.  I was beyond amazed by my best friend and her ability to throw a benefit together in six months.


After the benefit was over, she still wanted to do more.  She still wanted to help me and other women who are suffering from this devastating disease.  I, however, still wanted to hide in the "cancer closet."  She tossed around ideas about other events to do and that's when she realized she wanted to put together an organization.


And thus, Run 2 Inspire was born.

It has now been over two years since R2I first started, and the efforts this organization has done is nothing short of amazing.  We've held happy hour events, sports tournaments and attended cervical cancer conferences.  We've been featured in Glamour and Shape magazines.  We reach out to the public to let them know we're here for them.  We're building a support organization that I only wish I had found when I was first diagnosed.

Looking back on all that this organization and my best friend has accomplished, I couldn't be more proud of her.  She's making a difference in her community and letting women know that it's OK to speak out about HPV and cervical cancer.  But more importantly, she gave me the courage I needed to come out of my "cancer closet" and talk to people.  Thanks to her and all that she is doing, she's helped me build a certain amount of confidence to tell people my story.  Sure, I still have moments when I want to hide in my "cancer closet" again, but then I think about all that she is doing for me and other women who have been touched by this disease, and it makes me want to become a stronger advocate for this preventable disease.

So thank you, Priscilla, for all that you've done.  Thank you for being my best friend, for supporting and comforting me through everything I have endured these last several years and for starting Run 2 Inspire.  But most importantly, thank you for helping me find my inner happiness and the strength and courage I need to continue my life each day.  As we embark on our 14th year of our friendship, I look forward to more smiling, laughing and advocating together.  May 2010 bring you and Run 2 Inspire much love, success and happiness.

Keep smiling!

"My wish, for you
Is that this life becomes all that you want it to..."

Passing the Cup

"Ignorance is Bliss"

I've heard this said more than once in my twenty-five years. I'd be lying if I didn't admit that it was one of my own personal mantras. For anything that was potentially painful, my excuse was: "I don't know and I don't want to know." It got me through another day.

I was catching up with someone that I hadn't spoken to in a few years. We exchanged relationship, career, and family stories. We walked the streets of Philadelphia sharing a gigantic fountain soda. It's something we've always done, and not even the frigid winter temperatures would stop us from taking part in this tradition. The topic of what we are currently involved in arose, and I was excited to share my story of joining Run 2 Inspire.

When I first joined the organization, I was afraid to engage in conversations with people. I didn't know much about HPV or Cervical Cancer nor was I sure how I would get through an interaction another person filled with questions that I couldn't answer. Over the 7 months I've been with Run 2 Inspire, I've learned enough to where I can comfortably introduce the organization, my role with them, and answer any questions, correct any misconceptions, and provide statistics and resources where needed. It's safe to say I'm prepared for anything... or at least I thought I was.

"What have you been up to?" my friend asked me.

I mentioned my freelancing, my living situation, and of course, Run 2 Inspire. The typical question, "What is Run 2 Inspire?" came, and my answer rolled smoothly out of my mouth:

"It's a non-profit organization that raises awareness for HPV and Cervical Cancer," I said. "[the organization] has been around for a few years, but I just found them recently. I headed out to a conference in October and it was a really mind opening experience."

I kept going on about how I take care of the marketing, host events, and help out in any way that I can. After about a minute or so, I realized that my friend hadn't responded to me. I passed the cup we were sharing to her thinking that would snap her back.

She looked at the cup - the same cup we'd been passing back and forth for an hour, sipping from the same straw as close friends tend to do. She stared at the cup, then looked at me. Her face was as pale as I'd ever seen it.

"Why didn't you tell me?"
"Tell you.....what?"
"That you have HPV?"
"....because I don't."

She laughed at her misunderstanding. I kind of laughed too. She was clearly concerned for me and thought I contracted the virus that affects over 50% of all sexually active people.

"God," she said. "I was so scared!"
"I know. Sorry. I should have been more clear."
"Yeah! I didn't remember you being a whore. I was about to slap you across the face not only for going to the whore side, but for sharing a cup with me with your diseased self!"

She laughed.

I didn't.

She went onto another conversation that I blanked out of and kept walking. I was torn on what to do. I wanted to scream. I wanted to yell at her. I wanted to refuse the cup when she passed it back to me, and write it off as "not wanted to catch ignorance from her".

Over the last few months, I've learned to really think things through before reacting to them. You never quite know who you could be offending. As I thought through what had just happened, I realized that I wasn't angry at her ignorance. HPV and Cervical Cancer are 2 things that aren't often spoken about. As much as I hate that fact, I do enjoy spreading the word about the risks and prevention of them.

What hurt the most was how quickly my friend turned on me. My friend - one that I trust, rely on, and am inspired by daily, didn't think twice about stereotyping me as a promiscuous whore for having HPV. I once dated someone who wouldn't touch me when I had a cold. This bothered me very deeply, and in a moment I was taken back to the feeling of being dirty, contagious and undesireable.

Just as we can catch a cold, we can catch HPV. It's not a whore's disease. It takes one guy; one girl; one time. I know a virgin who got HPV, I know a 19 year old man who has HPV, I know a 26 year old woman who is a Cervical Cancer survivor. I've shared drinks with all of them. Same straw.

As I walked side by side with my friend down the streets of Philadelphia, I told her about HPV, Cervical Cancer, statistics and stigmas. I corrected her misconceptions, answered her questions, and offered some facts. We shared more than a soda that day. I shared with her the knowledge that she, and every woman and man need about HPV and Cervical Cancer. She shared with me the priceless opportunity to walk a mile in someone else's shoes. For a moment, I felt the shame, discomfort and out-of-place feeling that people with HPV and/or Cervical Cancer feel.

Ignorance is not Bliss.

Knowledge is Power.